Keeping Positive While Pregnant Over 35 or 40

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I asked my friend Cynthia Wilson James to write a lovely piece on staying positive while pregnant over 35 or 40. Take Cynthia’s words of wisdom for a spin, there’s much value in her words having already walked those miles. 

There is not an expectant mother alive who hasn’t had some anxiety about her baby’s health. Movies, books, television, the nosy woman in the hair salon tell birth horror stories that increase a pregnant woman’s anxiety.

An expectant mom over 35 is hit with a double dose of anxiety.  She worries about her baby’s health and worries about the role her age will play in her baby’s health.

Here are three guidelines to help you remain positive during your over 35+ pregnancy:

1.  Realize “their” medical history is not “your” medical history.
The first words out of your doctor’s mouth may not be congratulations but may be a list of statistics citing an increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, cesarean birth and chromosomal defects for older moms.

The findings in these studies are based on pregnant women over 35 as a group. Unless you were a part of one of these studies, the results do not reflect your individual history.

It’s important for an expectant mom over 35 and 40 to select an obstetrician or midwife

Cynthia Wilson James InSeason Mom

Cynthia Wilson James
InSeason Mom

who respects her right to have her pregnancy viewed individually.

2.  Limit your contact with negative influences.
One thing I love about babies and toddlers is that when they see or hear something they don’t like, they cover their ears or turn their heads away from the thing.  Expectant moms over 35 and 40 must learn to apply this concept, of course, not necessarily the actions. Continue reading

Starve the Negative Monster: Conceiving After Infertility, Miscarriage or Stillborn

How do you stay in the moment and connect with your child and pregnancy after struggling with infertility, remembering a previous miscarriage or loss of a child (stillborn). There is no doubt that these feeling are normal and only natural.

If your situation was infertility, you are absolutely euphoric that you have finally accomplished what you have worked so hard for; but then you are scared about losing this child, having to repeat all of those complicated infertility treatments and will you get pregnant again?? But you are pregnant, right now!

If you have previously miscarried or carried full term and then lost your child, those same feelings arise leaving you to feel guarded, almost against the little one, so that if something happens again, you are prepared and not as connected. But deep down you know, no matter what happens, you are connected to your baby.

Our thoughts… I took a quick Google search and came up with this little known fact: we have approximately 50,000 thoughts per day. As you know, many of these thoughts will be positive ~ love, joy, gratitude, humorous, etc. While others will be negative ~ fear, worry, anger, jealously, etc.

Now… there are only two options to address our negative thoughts. We can feed and nurture the negative monster or we can starve and ignore him. By starving and ignoring the monster we are able to concentrate on a more positive and peaceful existence. Continue reading