Miscarriage and the Holiday Season: Sadness and Gratitude

I wanted to get this blog out prior to Thanksgiving; however, just like everyone else, I sometimes can’t get everything done in a day.  : )

As I have mentioned in past blogs, I suffered two miscarriages and both unfortunately happened during the holiday season. My first in 2003 was over Thanksgiving weekend and my second in 2007 was in the emergency room on Christmas day. Some of you may have the same thing happen this season and wonder how to balance your sadness with the season threaded with being thankful and joyous.

First, give yourself permission to feel sad. It is so necessary in the healing process to truly experience your emotions during this time of loss. Your loss is not only of the baby that you so wanted, but also of the dream this baby brought to you and your partner and family (if you already have a child or children). Speak often to your partner and then to a family member(s) and/or friend(s) that will be great listeners.

Take the time to determine and communicate your needs to your loved ones… tell those how grateful you are for them, but that it is just a sad time for you and your partner. Think about what would be helpful to you… perhaps missing a big family dinner and only coming for the dessert, maybe asking someone to shop for the children on your gift list, determine what would be helpful to you ~ then communicate, communicate, communicate.

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