Whether you have been struggling with infertility for a short or long time, it is so hard to know whether to tell people, or keep it to yourself. Disclosure is such a double-edged sword.
In some ways, telling people about your situation can restrain those from continuing to question, “So when are you two going to have a baby?” However, it can cause some to gossip, ask frequently how all of your “trying” is going, relay stories about how their sister’s, friend’s, sister-in-law’s, brother’s infertility resulted in a birth child that happened naturally, only after they adopted. And lastly, you might be told to “just adopt”… making adoption sound a little too simple, like a McDonald’s drive thru, where you place an order and then acquire a child at the window.
Truly, most people’s intentions are good, but many may forget the beautiful art of simply listening, which is what you need at this emotional time. Supporting someone through the journey of infertility may just mean being truly present, listening and not providing a lot of advice.
If you are thinking of telling someone or a group of people, how do you decide who to tell? Continue reading